So, 2010 arrives and I’m totally debt free (well, save for the car I’m still paying off), and I decide that since I’ve already popped my sprog, gotten hitched and settled in my home I can go back to shool. Wits University kicked me out of  school unceremoniously in 2004 for financial reasons. This was 6 years agoa nd I’m scared of running out of time to finish that Honors year I was robbed off. So, I plan my minor withdrawal from work to focus on my studies. Meanwhile, back a the ranch my career is growing a t a steady pace and not accommodating any ABS brakes in the process. And I reckon, well, let me get this degree on my terms. I’ll bunk whatever needs bunking, submit my assignments on time and still get a degree. Done. Then friggin Wits throws me a curveball: Class attendance is compulsory and counts in your final mark. eish. And this is, after all, a full time course.

Now I am stuck. 24000 rand in tuition later, deregistering will cost me 25% of the fee I paid, but there are no institutions offering the degree I want via correspondence, let alone  part-time. So what do I do? Push on, risk flunking out because the lecturers are pissed off I’m treating my degree like a part-time course, and my attendance is poor? Or take that risk and disappear below the radar like I already did last year, and hope to God I make a similar comeback?

I’m stumped, I need advise and a vodka, not necessarily in that order. I was up at 2:32am this morning, realising I’ve actually missed a deadline by a week now, so  I’m treading a fine line with the school. But I really want my Honors degree, for me. Because I’m smart, I want to finish what I started and I want to fill the academic gap that exists when it comes to stand up comedy as a theatrical form in South Africa. I live in a country where more and more education is disregarded and people think less and less about how they can contribute to their country and more about how much money they can make with the least effort. So, I can’t even find my funny bone because I have painted myself into a  depressing corner. I want it all, is that such a  bad thing?